2 posts tagged “relationships”

Girls Night Out, Part Three

The car ride from Zippy’s to my place took barely five minutes. The roads were shiny and reflecting all the surrounding lights due to the light rain that had fallen while we were trying to rid the island of coffee.

The conversation on the way home was fast paced. We started to step on the ends of each other’s sentences. Thankfully, the subject matter was nothing of consequence, just high-speed jibber-jabbering.

We got lucky and found an available parking space right in front of my building. As we got out of the car, Carol was going on and on non-stop about something that she had seen at Wal-mart a couple of days ago. I was only half listening, although I love Wal-mart stories, I was more interested in what I was going to do with this woman once we got upstairs into my apartment.

I showed her in and we both took a seat on the couch and in unison sighed to relive some of the energy that had built up in each of us.

“I don’t really have much of anything to offer you except water. I don’t entertain very much.” I said as we both settled into my futon-turned-couch.

“I’m sure I don’t need anything right now. Maybe some water later.”, she replied hastily.

“I could use one thing”, she said after a moment.

“Okay?”, I answered.

“I need to pee. Some of that coffee wants out”, she said, as she stood up.

I grinned and nodded toward the bathroom as she almost trotted away.

Another deep breath release for me. I suppose I could pee when she’s done, then I can work on plan A some more. Plus, we’ll both have empty bladders, for whatever that might be worth.

“I like your place”, she said as I retuned from the bathroom.

“Thanks. It’s kinda crowded, but that’s because some of the furniture belongs to the apartment and some belongs to me.”, I replied.

“I saw lots of CD’s in that bookcase. Do you mind if I take a look?”, she asked politely.

“Go right ahead. If you see anything you really like, we can play it, or copy it, or whatever.”, I told her as she got up again.

“You have all guy paperbacks, too”, she commented while looking over the CD’s and books on the tall, teak bookshelf.

“I’m all guy”, I replied with a faux question mark in my voice.

She giggled. “I suppose you are.”

“My mom was a big Danielle Steel fan, but I never read any of her stuff. My mom even bought the hardbacks.

“My ex #2 buys the hardbacks of John Grisham’s books.” I tell her.

“I don’t read novels very much. It seems I’m always too busy.”, she confessed nonchalantly.

Ouch, a chink in the armor. I get queasy when I hear people say, “I’m too busy”. It’s become the mantra for today’s over-achieving workaholics. I’ll give her the first one for free, but if it turns into a trend, we may be in trouble.

She had fun looking through my CD collection and picked The Pretenders Greatest Hits CD to listen to. Had she picked almost any other CD, I could have drawn some kind of opinion about her, and her tastes, but The Pretenders, while 80’s and all, are way too “middle of the road” for me to get a read on Carol. I played the CD anyway. I happen to like it, too.

While I was putting the CD into my player, Carol’s cell phone went off. Her ringtone sounded like an old-school phone ringing. Either she’s very much a no nonsense kind of lady, or very technologically challenged. I’m guessing the former.

“I’m gonna be out for a while longer. Do you need anything?”, she said to the caller.

“What did you do tonight?”, she wanted to know.

She was friendly, but not overly friendly with the caller. Obviously someone she knew, but maybe someone she didn’t really want to be bothered by at the moment. The coffee’s making me think too much, I’m thinking.

“Okay, I’ll call you when I leave here.”, she said just before closing her flip-style phone.

“Everything okay?”, I ask her.

She nodded, then answered, “my daughter checking in.”

“As long as she’s okay”, I offered.

More nodding from Carol before she noticed the other bookcase in the room and said, “wow, more books.”

“Pretty much more of the same”, I told her truthfully. More guy stuff. I don’t read Mary Higgins, or Martha Stewart.

Since my vision went south, I don’t really read much at all. Mostly I just write my own stuff. It’s a fun way for me to self-entertain, plus it passes the time nicely.

I opted to not tell her about my stories for now. All my stories are totally clean and inoffensive, but I’m thinking I should save something for next time…if there is a next time.

If she’s not careful, she could end up beint the subject of one of of my “tales from The Crib”.

“You had a paper day-planner, too”, she said in amazement.

“Yeah. One of my all time favorite toys and one of my all time favorite tools. If I could see better, I would still be battling with myself over whether to use a paper day-planner or a computer.”, I replied honestly.

“I try to use the computer, but I need to know more about it”, she confessed.

“What do you want to know more about”, I wondered out loud.

“I have to use Outlook at work, and I think I could probably use it for personal stuff too, but I never have time to sit and dig into it while I’m at work, and I’m never in the mood when I get home”, she said in one long breath. Need to keep her away from the coffee next time.

“If you’re ever in the mood, I can show you whatever you want to know about Outlook”, I volunteered.

“Wow. Really? I’d like that,”, she said, sounding relieved.

“Maybe next weekend sometime?”, she suggested.

“Sure. Anytime.”, I confirmed.

She looked uncomfortable as she tried to adjust herself on my couch, so I said, “Sorry the futon cushion has seen better days. It’s come kinda hard.”

“It’s okay.” She replied, still looking uncomfortable.

“I’m not suggesting anything out of the way, but the bed is way more comfortable, if you’d care to sit or lay there.”, I told her and immediately feeling like I’d totally said the wrong thing.

She cocked her head to one side, looked over the back of the couch to the bed and said, “sure. Sounds good.”

My apartment is a one room studio, so the bed and couch are only about five feet apart with a small desk in between.

I got up from the couch first and offered her my hand as she arose from the couch.

She held onto my hand during the half a dozen steps we took from the couch to the bed.

She crawled in first, leaving the comforter in tact on top of the bed and leaving room for me to join her.

I sat down on the edge of the queen sized bed and asked, “better?”

“Yeah, nice.”, she said with a smile on her face.

After a few minutes of talking, I asked her, “is it okay if I lay down while we talk. My back is kinda tired.”

“Not at all. I was just thinking the same thing”, she answered with a little relaxation in her voice and her movements.

“I feel like a college kid again. I’m thinking, okay she’s in bed with me, now what.”, I told her sheepishly.

She laughed out loud as she answered, “I was waiting for you to try to reach out for me, or roll over on top of me, or something.”

Laughing too, I said, “not the worst idea you’ve had tonight, but I’m not thinking about doing either of those things.”

“I couldn’t make up my mind about what I’d do if you did”, she admitted.

“I’ll spare you the heavy decision making tonight. I’m just enjoying talking and getting to know you better.”, I told her as I gently patted her hand.

“I’m having fun too, and it’s nice to not have to worry, or think about that kind of stuff tonight.”, she said frankly.

“Next time we end up in bed together, we can flip for who jumps on whom first”, I suggest to lighten the moment.

“Deal”, she said with a very nice smile on her face.

The pace of the talking continued to slow for the next hour, or so as the coffee started to wear off.

Finally, she decided to pull the plug on the evening and said, “I really should be getting home”.

“I wasn’t gonna throw you out, but I’m getting a little sleepy myself.”, I told her as I started to slide off the bed.

We made sure we had each others e-mal and cell phone information, then we had a nice extended hug and friendly kiss on the lips before I walked her down to her car. She buckled herself in and drove off into the night, waving as she pulled away.

As I watched her disappear into the pitch black early morning, I was reminded of what Steve Kerr, General Manager of the Phoenix Suns said when he traded for Shaq near the end of the 2007-2008 NBA season. “I’m either going to end up being brilliant, or an idiot because of this”.

Unfortunately, Shaq didn’t have enough left in the tank to be much help for that season, and Phoenix was beaten into an early exit from the playoffs.

I’m hoping for at least a second round with Carol.

Just after returning to my apartment, my cell phone went off. It’s 1:30 in the morning. I check the display and see it’s Carol. so I answer.

“Hello”

“I just wanted to say thank you and let you know I got home okay, and my daughter’s fine”, she said, again all in one breath.

“I had fun too, and thanks for the call. I meant to ask you to do that, but got distracted”, I said laughing softly.

“Good night”, she said.

“G’night”

Girls Night Out

 

I don't get a chance to see my former co-workers much these days. Primarily because we're no long co-workers, but some of us have stayed in close touch, and I still get along well with everyone I used to work with. Considering I've been gone four years, I believe this speaks well of our friendships.

 

Every now and then "the girls", as they are affectionately known, (even though there's a guy in the crowd as well), get together after work for what I call grazing and gabbing. None of them are big drinkers, or party people, but they always pick a nice bar/restaurant to get together. Everyone has a couple of drinks, some non-alcoholic, and lots of pupu's.

 

Since they all work together, and not everyone attends these ad hoc functions, there's the requisite talking about those who aren't there. Also, there's some talking about kids, husbands and the like, but the family stuff usually makes its way into daily conversations.

 

I have to admit, when I used to work with them, I avoided these outings, even at the risk of being talked about. When I go out drinking, I go out drinking. Minimal food, plenty of beer and lots of bulls@#t conversation, or not. Sometimes it's just beer and TV, or beer and karaoke.

 

I love the girls dearly, and always will. They, especially a couple of them, have been absolute angels in checking on me and helping me during the ugly times I've been forced to suffer through since leaving my job with them. (I'll save those gory details for another treatise.)

 

However, while they are top choice for friends, they are not top choice for party partners. Different mind sets, attitudes and priorities. The way of the world.

 

Nowadays, I go whenever I'm able if invited, because it's the only chance I get to see most of them, and the only chance I get to see all of them in a relaxed environment.

 

That said, I love getting to see them, but I still don't really like partying with them. Tonight, I'm trying to put that out of my mind, and I'm trying to concentrate on the fact I get to do something different, with people I really like.

 

"It'll be okay", I keep telling me.

 

Every once in a while other friends gather with us. Friends of friends, potential girlfriends in the case of the one dude in the bunch. Tonight, I have been promised, (or threatened) that there will be a nice, available lady for me to meet.

 

It seems I've been talked about and this lady, for God only knows what possible reason, said I sound interesting. Careful what you wish for.

 

I've never liked being setup. I'm especially skeptical tonight because I'm not sure the "sister" who has set me up and I have the same idea of what would make a nice girlfriend candidate for me. She's my favorite sister, and she knows full well what kind of women I like, but she tends to go against the grain sometimes, so if you tell her you like red, she's liable to insist on green.

 

Despite all of this, I have agreed to hook-up with the gang and try to be on my best behavior. I never behave badly in public, especially with them, so I'm not sure why I had to promise to behave, but it's okay. I'm trying to be grateful for CA's thoughtfulness.

 

In addition, I haven't had so much as a movie buddy for so long, I'm not much in a position to be picky at this point. The problem is, she knows this all too well.

 

Anyway, I said I'd behave and I'm a man of my word, or at least will be tonight.

 

As usual, I meet the girls at the office in downtown Honolulu. We hug and kiss on the cheek and make nice when I come in and see everyone. Thankfully, the people I don't want to see have left for the day, so even with my untimely departure from the company, I'm among friends.

 

The mystery lady is meeting us across the street at Aloha Tower Marketplace. Yes, it's the famous Hawaii landmark, right on the waterfront. Several years ago, this area was renovated and built out with new shops and restaurants. A nice trendy kind of place to hang out. Not my normal stomping grounds, but I do like it there, especially the places right on the water. Perfect Hawaiian atmosphere. Despite the dark, dank places I usually haunt, I like being reminded of where I live and just how beautiful it is here.

 

At 4:30, the girls are free to leave the phones on voice mail and we're off to see the Wizard. Conversations revolve around what we've all been up to since we last got together. Nice to catch up.

 

The walk across the street takes about 15 minutes. I mean, it's across the street, but it's really across a couple of streets. From the 25th floor office where the girls work, the place looks like you could just throw a rock at it, but once you're on the ground, there's a different perspective.

 

We work our way past restaurants and shops until we get to a nice bar/restaurant that is popular here because it's a micro-brewery and brews what I think is pretty good local beer. The food is also very good and the outdoor tables and chairs are right on the waterfront. When I do come to Aloha Tower, I like to come here.

 

Our mystery guest is due around 5:30, so I have some time to anticipate her arrival. I've tried to pump sister CA for details, but she's been pretty tight-lipped about the whole thing.

 

"Never mind. You're gonna like her. Trust me.", she responds every time I ask her to tell me more about this woman. I never trust people who say, "trust me". If I could trust them, they wouldn't have to tell me.

 

I was able to find out the woman I'm about to be thrown into the sandbox with is a local lady of Japanese ethnicity. This is a good thing. I love local Japanese women. I love real Japanese women too, but while abundant here, they're a little harder to meet in my circles.

 

I also found out she has a 16 year old daughter. Just the one youngun. I'm pretty okay with teenage girls, so this, too, is okay with me.

 

Mom's ex, the daughter's dad, now lives in Cali with his new family, which I understand features a younger wife figure. Nobody is sure about his ethnicity, but based on my time here in Hawaii, I'd guess Asian of one kind or another. I need to hasten to add white boys will also leave a wife, or significant other for a younger woman too, but it's very common here among Asian men. Of course, Asian men are very common in Hawaii. Caucasians are a minority here. I'm cool with that.

 

Drinks are ordered and the pupu menu is circulating while I'm just enjoying good company and the beautiful view from our table. We have a perfect view of the entrance to Honolulu Harbor and the deep blue Pacific waters are very calm. There's a gentle, cool breeze blowing. You can hear the palm fronds rustling near by. I love this place.

 

At precisely 5:25, there's a dull buzz of excitement around our table. It seems her highness has arrived. I pretend not to notice until she's right up to the table.

 

CA gets up to greet her friend. They exchange girl-hugs and friendly kisses on the cheek. Girl hugs, mean their bodies don't actually touch. Kinda like when you hug your auntie, or grandma. I'm a full body hugger anytime I think I can get away with it. Why not. If we're gonna hug, then by God, let's hug. I've always been a fairly affectionate sort.

 

CA introduces her friend as Carol and everybody says hi and waves. Local style. Good manners here.

 

Coincidentally, there's an empty seat next to me, and CA ushers Carol over to it and says, "you can sit by Rick. He doesn't bite."

 

I look at CA like now might be a good time to start, but I smile at Carol, help pull out the chair and in my best, genuinely friendly tone say, "hi, nice to meet you".

 

She sits, pulls up her chair, returns my smile and offers her hand as she says, "nice to meet you too. I've heard a lot about you".

 

"And you came anyway. I'm even more glad to meet you", I joke in response.

 

Everyone, especially Carol giggles. Every now and then I get off a good one.

 

Our server magically appears and takes Carol's drink order. The girls and B², the other dude I used to work with, have already ordered concoctions I've never heard of. Some are sans alcohol. They look pretty and everyone has to sample everyone else’s drink. I'll show you mine, if you'll show me yours, run amuck.

 

Carol orders one of the micro-brewery beers. We're off to a good start. Not only is she a local Japanese woman, she's a beer drinking local Japanese woman.

 

Carol presents at about five and half feet tall. She has slightly highlighted black, shoulder length hair. She's dressed in a denim skirt cut nicely above the knees, topped off with a comfortable looking light blue button up almost man-style shirt. One of my favorite girl outfits. CA doesn't know this, so I'm pretty sure it's  just good luck on my part.

 

The only jewelry I see is a nice watch on her left wrist. She has nicely manicured medium length nails with a neutral beige based polish. Classy, but not ostentatious.

 

She seems pleasant, and seems very comfortable around the girls, B² and me. Nice.

 

"So, we've been set up", she says rather abruptly as she turns to me after taking a sip of her beer.

 

"Quite", I answer with a chuckle.

 

"I usually hate being set up, but CA did a nice selling job on you", she said with a subtle grin and cocked head.

 

"Being setup by CA scared me to death, plus she told me virtually nothing about you. She kept saying 'never mind. Just meet her and find out for yourself'", I returned.

 

With a look of sincere concern, she said, "I guess you've been through some rough times".

 

I raise my eyebrows and gently nod my head, while addressing CA, "Yo, CA, haven’t you every heard of HIPPA? Have you been disclosing my confidential medical information?"

 

The girls work in an business that sees and handles lots of medical information. The privacy of which is treated with the utmost care.

 

Carol isn't sure if I'm upset, or just causing trouble, as CA responds stuttering, "I-I-I didn't really tell her anything confidential, plus, I've never seen any of your medical records, so I'm just telling her what you've told all of us".

 

Quick thinking. She does this kind of stuff for a living.

 

I feign outrage as I begin to nod my head while staring at CA, then turn to Carol and say, "and again, you came anyway?"

 

She smiles and nods as I look back to CA and say, "A'ight...This time."

 

Everyone giggles. HIPPA violations are no joke, but since I don't work there anymore, I can joke about whatever I like.

 

Carol looks somewhat relieved as she says, "so, how are you doing now?"

 

"In the big scheme of things, pretty okay, I guess", I answer truthfully.

 

"My uncle had diabetes", she said in a consoling, but genuine tone.

 

"We all tried to help as much as we could, but he hated to eat right, he hated to exercise and he didn't like taking his meds", she followed.

 

"That's a dangerous combination", I say.

 

"Unfortunately, it probably killed him sooner than it should have. His doctors said if he had taken better care of himself, he would have lived longer and would have had fewer complications", she offered.

 

"Well, ignoring it for a while didn't work for me either. Now, I can't see well enough to work and I'm lame. I could have probably avoided, or at least postponed all of that. Thankfully, I wised up before it actually killed me, although I may well have knocked a few days off my perpetual calendar.", I confessed.

 

Before she could continue this morbid, yet insightful conversation, I continued, "So, you have a daughter? She’s 16. Just about the only thing CA told me."

 

"Yes" she said proudly.

 

"Cool. Where does she go to school?", I asked, actually interested.

 

"Roosevelt", she replied almost embarrassed.

 

"My ex went there", I said, trying to make it sound okay. Public schools in Hawaii are unfortunately not among the top in the country and most people who can, send their kids to private school. I'm sure it's hard for a single mom.

 

"It's okay. I like to think you get out of school what you put into it, regardless of where you go", she said optimistically.

 

"Does she do well?", I asked giving her a good opportunity to brag about her daughter. I've have this backfire on me before, but I have a good feeling tonight.

 

"She does. Mostly As', a couple of B's", she answered, still proud.

 

"Excellent.", I said.

 

"Do you guys get along okay?", I asked, my curiosity expanding a little.

 

"Actually, we do", she said with surprise in her voice.

 

"Good for you. I'm sure you've heard some of CA's horror stories, although I happen to like both her girls.”, I tell Carol.

 

Carol nodded and chuckled, deciding not to answer out loud, letting her good manners prevail.

 

I excuse myself, as I need to make room for another diet soda. I’m alcohol free tonight. I don't often drink when I go out with the girls.

 

When I return, Carol stops talking to one of the other girls and looks at me with that curious, cocked head look I saw before. It's kinda cute. She's kinda cute.

 

"You live near Ala Moana?", she asks.

 

I nod.

 

"How are you getting home?, she inquires

 

"CA offered to take me, or I can catch a cab. I always find my way home, somehow.", I laugh softly.

 

"I live in Makiki. I'd be glad to give you a lift. CA lives totally the other way". Carol offers.

 

"Are you sure?", I ask.

 

"Sure. It doesn't make sense for CA to go out of her way, when it's right on my way", Carol says convincingly. I don't need much convincing at this point. This lady is very cool.

 

"Shoots. That'd be nice of you. Plus, we could get to talk a little more", I said, hoping I didn't say too much.

 

"Yeah, we could talk where it's not so hectic and noisy", she agreed.

 

This is almost too easy. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop here. There has to be a catch. I'm never this lucky, although, I must say, I'm way overdue.

 

Carol lets CA know she's going to give me a ride home. CA is surprisingly agreeable. Surprisingly, because CA likes to make all the plans herself, but obviously recognized a good deal for all concerned here and goes along without argument. I need to write this one down.

 

Carol and I continue to play 20 questions when I decide to ask her, "what time does your kitchen pass expire tonight?".

 

"I'm the mommy. I get to come home when I want to, but I did tell my daughter I wouldn't be very late.", she laughed in response.

 

By now, it was almost 8:00 and I was getting close to my capacity for "girl stuff" for one night. Like I said, I love them dearly, but I have my limits.

 

"I've had a full dose of the girls for one night. We can leave whenever you're ready. We can also stay if you want, but whenever you're ready to go, I'm ready.", I whisper to her after leaning close to her ear. She smells good, too. Something a little spicy, not too sweet. More classy stuff.

 

She nods thoughtfully, then says, "Ben-jo, then go?"

 

Ben-jo is a Chinese word for toilet, or bathroom. Although Chinese, lots of local people use it. That and lua, an Hawaiian transliteration of the British word lew, which means the same thing.

 

I nod and answer, "works for me".

 

Carol excuses herself and I tell CA that we're going to be leaving when Carol gets back. I give her $30 to cover my beer, Carol's beer and some of the food which we ate almost none of. She confirms it's enough money.

 

Another reason these outings aren't so much fun for me. $30 is a lot of money for me, and while seeing my old friends is well worth it, it still stings the wallet. The girls know my situation and are always very understanding. Sometimes to the point of helping me pay. More very good friend stuff.

 

The girls audit medical bills for a living and when they go out, they audit the check as meticulously as they do their work. It can often take up to an hour, or more. I always try to leave more than my share and dig out early.

 

Carol returns and sits down, but not all the way back in her chair. She's ready to go. I tell her I've paid for us and we're free to leave.

 

She starts to argue with me for paying for her, and I tell her it's the same I'd pay for a cab ride and maybe next time, if there is one, she can pay. She's appeased and we faux hug everyone and head off to the valet pick-up area to retrieve her car.

 

To Be continued (: